Independence
by KiraLiven
Summary: Story of Via and how she changes throughout her life. Written for a school project


**Actually for a school project, but...**

**This is all in Via's POV. Starts out third person, shifts to second, and then first, but it's all still her. It's kinda jarring, so you have to pause before reading 'then' and 'after'.**

**~0~**

**Before**

He's always been in her life. As long as she can remember, he's been there, and she's loved him. Although there have been pictures of her when she was young, before he was born, she doesn't remember them. Her universe has always revolved around his, just like the rest of her family orbited around him. He's always been in her life, and she never noticed his deformities. She never understood why people said he was ugly, never understood why they stared at him when the two of them went out. That was the way he looked, and it didn't really matter. What had always mattered was that he was who he was, the boy who loved star wars more than anything else, and was good at science. Outside, he wasn't like the rest of them, but on the inside, there was nothing different about him.

Sometimes it hurt how he always got the attention, but she felt guilty whenever she thought that. He is often in pain, and he's undergone so much more than adults ten times older than he. Nothing she went through could even be half as bad as whatever he's experienced. Even if her parents aren't there for her, even if she can't get help from anyone, those are petty problems compared to his pains.

She's proud to call him her brother.

_**Then**_

_You can't believe your luck._

_You're going to stay _

_with Grandma for a while, _

_just you two. _

_It's the longest you've been _

_away from home, _

_but although you'll miss them, _

_Grandma is just so fun. _

_She'll do everything _

_with you, listen to you,_

_give you her attention._

_You never get this much notice_

_Not without Auggie there._

_The first night, _

_you two go out. _

_You feel strange, and at first, _

_you can't tell why. _

_You keep looking around, _

_behind you, _

_feeling as if something's _

_missing. _

_As you watch a stranger's face _

_as he passes by, _

_you realize: he didn't even give you _

_a second glance. _

_You had your glare _

_prepared for him, _

_ready to tell him off _

_when he stared, _

_but he never does._

_It doesn't take you long_

_to figure out that, _

_without Auggie, no one _

_will stare. _

_Without Auggie, _

_you could be you, not just _

'_the sister of that deformed kid.' _

_You love him, _

_but now that you're out _

_and about, without him, _

_you realize that you don't _

_always have to live _

_with the stares. _

_You could live, on your own,_

_Without August, _

_invisible _

_to random strangers. _

_You won't have to _

_pretend not to notice _

_when people stare_

_after they see Auggie. _

_Friends will come to your house, _

_some day, _

_and won't run off _

_after they see him. _

_And you won't have to tell him _

_it's his fault _

_when it happens._

**After**

I don't understand. I mean, I was excited to see Auggie. I missed him, and I actually missed him more than I missed Mom and Dad. I could tell he missed me too, by the way he ran up to me to give me a hug. But, then, why did he seem different? He was exactly the same. He hadn't changed, but for this one second, I was a stranger. I was the stranger on the street, looking around, and catching sight of this boy with all these deficiencies. And I looked twice. I stared, and I did a double-take. And I hated myself.

It only lasted a second. One second he was Auggie, the next this stranger who looked different from everyone else, but the second after that, he was August again, and everything was all right. He was my lovable brother that I loved with all my heart. But it still hasn't properly disappeared. I still see him the way a stranger might. I understand, now, why people stare. I understand why friends would run after seeing him. And I feel horrible about it.

Why am I getting so selfish? I've never minded when Mom and Dad weren't there for me, because they were helping Auggie. I've never cared that they didn't have time for me. August needed them, and I didn't need them as much as he did. But then, why am I wishing he didn't take up all of their attention? Why am I suddenly wishing our lives didn't revolve around him, that Mom and Dad would listen to my problems as well, petty as they may be? He needs us, and none of this is his fault. He didn't ask for all these problems, and compared to him, I'm lucky. I shouldn't hate him for taking up our parent's time. But I do. I don't want to, I don't think I should, but I do.

This is a new school that I'm going to, and although my best friends changed and went separate ways from me, it's a new beginning. Barely anyone here knows about Auggie. They don't call me 'the sister of that deformed kid,' they call me Olivia. I've never been ashamed of August, and really, I don't think I am. But I don't want Auggie to come to school. I don't want people to know about him, I don't want to be called 'the sister of that deformed kid' again. I don't want to feel this way, but I do. I love Auggie, and I'm proud of him. He's been through so much, and yet he's so fun and lovable.

But I still want to be me.


End file.
